THE LUXURY OF BEING YOURSELF

A little philosophy of self-love, ambition & becoming the woman you kept waiting for.

Maybe the greatest luxury isn't having everything figured out.

Maybe it's trusting yourself enough to begin before you do.

I've learned that self-love is less about constantly admiring who you are and more about becoming someone you can rely on.

Luckily I was never the type of person who would wait to do something or rely on someone, and from a very young age I realized that if I wanted to have a good life, I had to give it to myself working as hard as I could, and I did, well, still do. There are no perfectly timed opportunities nor mysterious invitations, at least not that I'm aware of nd strangely, I find that incredibly romantic. Because it means the life is mine. The itinerary is mine. The mistakes are mine. The decisions are mine. The story is mine. For years, I thought self-love meant learning to accept myself exactly as I was. Now I think it can mean something more demanding: Becoming someone you are proud to be responsible for.

I know for some people, perhaps for those who never had to work to get to where they are ,(I'm not judging, it's easier, I don't blame them and neither does my health hahaha, however I wouldn't have it any other way) that maybe, just maybe I'm over romanticizing this whole trip and experience, but you know what? why not? I loved every step of the way, this journey taught me so much that I literally almost died, so yea, it's that important and I kinda wanted to have someone to give me advice, but no one had done it, so this is my gift to you. I don't want to apologize for wanting a big life, I'm building it myself with my bare hands and I love it. There is a particular pressure to make ambition look casual.

THE ART OF CHOOSING YOURSELF

There is a particular kind of freedom that arrives when you stop waiting to be chosen. Choose yourself. Choose the flight, the idea, the city, the uncomfortable conversation, the ridiculous ambition that keeps tapping you on the shoulder at midnight. Choose the version of your life that makes sense to you, even when nobody else has quite caught up with the vision. I think self-love is less about looking in the mirror and deciding you're wonderful, and more about making yourself a promise: I will not be the person who abandons me. I will listen when my gut says yes, even before I have the evidence; I will listen when it says no, even when everyone else is saying go. I will trust the quiet instinct that knows when a room is wrong, when a story is right, when a person deserves another chance, when a dream deserves a first attempt. Because eventually, confidence stops being something you perform and becomes something you know: I have myself. And perhaps becoming the woman you want to be isn't one grand transformation at all. It is the accumulation of tiny acts of loyalty to yourself—the decision to leave, to begin, to try, to say no, to say yes, to book the ticket, to write the article, to wear the dress, to walk into the room as though you belong there because you decided that you do.

THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT BEING AMBITIOUS

I used to think ambition needed an apology attached to it. I want this, but I don't want to seem too much. I have plans, but I don't want to sound presumptuous. But what a waste of a perfectly good dream. There is something profoundly romantic about wanting a lot from your own life. Not because you think you are entitled to everything, but because you are curious about what you might become if you actually tried. Ambition, at its most beautiful, is not greed; it is devotion to your potential. It is looking at the life you've been given and having the audacity to imagine another chapter. A bigger one. A stranger one. A more beautiful one. The wonderful thing about being ambitious is that you get to participate in your own becoming. You get to build the career, take the trip, create the magazine, chase the story, learn the thing, enter the room, miss the shot, try again. You don't have to know exactly where it ends. You just have to be brave enough to want the next thing. And if wantin more makes you “too ambitious”? Darling, perhaps the problem isn't the size of your dream. Perhaps you've simply been standing in a room that was too small.