Why couldn’t these unconventional lovebirds make it work? HIMYM EDITION

What Went Wrong with Robin and Barney?

Robin Scherbatsky and Barney Stinson appeared to be a match made in heaven.

How I Met Your Mother made it clear that these characters are two peas in a pod who enjoy the same things, prioritize friendship over commitment, and are extreme commitment phobes.

Their lovely wedding was the focus of Season 9.

But, at the end of it all, the Robin and Barney relationship leads to a marriage (We learn in the second-to-last episode that it only lasts a few years. Truth be told, there was always something odd about these two being in a monogamous relationship. Not merely because the show's creators had long ago decided that Robin and Ted were the final two characters. Neither of them is cut out for Marshall and Lily's hyper-traditional monogamous relationship.

Much of Robin and Barney's marital unhappinesss appears to stem from their attempts to fit themselves into cultural boxes that don't fit them.

Barney, on the other hand, feels like a biological bachelor, whereas Ted seems to have popped out of the womb longing to settle down.

And he's attracted to Robin because she shares many of the same values that he does.

Barney isn't searching for a wife; he's looking for a partner in crime (or wingwoman) with whom he is similarly smitten. This is actually one of the foundations of their marriage's health.Ted's romantic dreams for Robin include transforming her into someone she isn't, whilst Barney admires her for who she is.

However, by conventional criteria, this mindset does not always equate to a functional relationship pattern. Regardless of how understanding Robin is of Barney's love of women, there are moments when it crosses a boundary. He tries to impose an over-the-top pre-nup on Quinn before they are married.

He has problems being honest with Nora about who he is, then cheats on her with Robin. Barney also battles with the idea of being a traditional spouse, in addition to his issues with control and adultery. Mainly because both have a non-traditional style- and in their best moments, they work together to find their own way of being together, which doesn’t have to adhere to other people’s rules. Precisely because both have a non-traditional style- and in their best moments, they work together to find their own way of being together, which doesn’t have to adhere to other people’s rules.

We see their relationship disintegrate because they've lost their ability to boldly do things their own way once more. As a result, they split up and finally divorced. So it's not so much that Barney can't accept these aspects of Robin as a person; it's that his new role as her husband casts her qualities in a new light, making him feel uneasy and invalidated if she puts her career first.

In the end, Barney essentially confirms that his problem wasn’t with Robin but with lifetime commitment, when he says he doesn’t see their divorce as some sign that he needs to change.

Now let’s look at Robin’s relationship history. Robin rejecting Ted’s declaration of love on their first date is basically the inciting incident that gets the ball rolling on the whole series. Her initial reluctance to date this guy who’s so obviously eager for a serious relationship is based on a clear understanding of her priorities: to focus on her journalism career,protect her freedom to travel, and be open to future professional opportunities.

When she gives him a chance she once again has to pull away when it becomes impossible to ignore that she and Ted want wildly different things out of life. In all of Robin’s other relationships, too, we see that things end badly for her whenever she tries to change herself to fit a traditional relationship model.

After she decides to turn down a dream job to put her love for her co-anchor Don first, she gets burned when he takes that same offer. When she accepts Kevin’s marriage proposal, he later takes it back after finding out that she can’t have (and doesn’t want) kids. One way or another, her desire for independence and her resistanceto being vulnerable inevitably resurface.

After her marriage to Barney ends, she gets to do exactly what she’s always wanted to do: travel the world as a famous TV news reporter. It makes sense that, when forced to choose between saving her marriage and living her dreams she chooses the latter. And it should be viewed as a happy ending Instead, leading up to its ending, the show seems to imply that Robin is being selfish by pursuing her career and that this focus is making her unhappy.

And this brings us to the other major obstacle to Barney’s and Robin's romantic happiness: of course, the specter of Ted. This ex who makes it clear that he’s never stopped loving her haunts all of her relationships, and even causes problems on the days before her wedding with Barney.

Arguably, to Robin, Ted the over-the-top romantic represents the idea of settling down and having that fairytale love in general.It’s a goal that she’s decided she doesn’t want or need. Yet just as she can’t ever quite reject Ted conclusively, for good, she can’t totally kick the idea that maybe this conventional prize is something she should want.Thus, Robin’s final reunion with Ted can be read in one of two opposite ways: In the first, Robin was meant to be with Ted all along; it’s just taken her this long to get over her many relationship hang-ups and admit that she’s always really loved him. The second reading of this resolution, however, is that Robin is, once and for all, truly surrendering. After a lot of resistance, she finally gives into the damaging myth that monogamous commitment represents the only socially accepted, "happy ending" for a woman, even though all of the evidence we’ve seen throughout the series suggests that this doesn’t satisfy her.

So you could argue that Barney and Robin’s not ending up together ultimately can be explained by them buying into Ted’s idea about what a relationship should look like, instead of their own. we can conclude that the end of their marriage shouldn’t been viewed as some massive failure, but rather, two people realizing that marriage wasn’t serving their individual goals and desires.

What’s most striking about Robin’s and Barney’s coupling is that these two have a ton in common. they both have father issues love scotch, neither of them dreams of having kids,Most of the time these shared affinities add up to an amazing friendship that’s complemented by mutual attraction.

Thus, when revisiting the supposed "failure" of Robin and Barney’s marriage, it’s worth considering that not every couple that loves each other needs to be married or even be monogamous. Perhaps Barney and Robin would have done better to end up as some version of friends with benefits. the pressure is external from lily, marshall and ted, in terms of defyning a relationship label